Done! I’ve just finished highlighting the correct answers to
about 500 practice questions for Miranda’s financial reporting CPA unit in
preparation for her exam this week. This has come off another big day spent out
with the kids, leaving Miranda holed up alone at home studying (and facebooking)
her arse off. I’m still not sure what possessed Miranda to try and complete her
CPA while being a full time mum, part time bookkeeper, part time accountant and
a 0.9 FTE social networker. All I know is that I’ll do anything to help her
pass this exam so that she can start earning the big bucks and I can move a
step closer to my goal of semi retirement and ultimate status of stay at home
trophy husband. Here's Em at the play centre (nothing like her Mum!!)
With Miranda having to do all of this study during tax
season its meant that she’s been pretty flat out and I’ve had to pick up a bit
of the slack when it comes to domestic duties around the house. I’ve even had
to write this weeks blog and have been reminded that I’m not allowed to make it
more popular, funny or get more likes than any of hers, so feel free to like
and share to your hearts content. Being the competitive beast that she is she’ll
hate it if I beat her! I’ve done a fair bit of cooking, cleaning, washing and
folding over the past few months but this blogging caper is by far the most
difficult and time consuming, so go easy and show me plenty of love. That’ll
piss her right off J
I guess I can use this blog to give you more of a warts and
all insight into the Miranda that all of you faithful blog followers have gotten
to know over the past year. As you all know, Miranda doesn’t hold back when it
comes to sharing the details of her life, no matter how embarrassing, comical, serious
or heartfelt the subject. But what is she really like at home, behind closed
doors, the girl behind that perfect sepia toned selfie that pops up in your
facebook feed every second day? You should probably know that Miranda takes (on
average) 238 selfies before spending at least 45 minutes deliberating over ‘which
filter makes me look hotter?’ before the final photo gets posted. Everyone
looks better after a bit of filter enhancement don’t they? And when she gets hold of my phone she takes heaps - apparently there is a better camera on the 5? She should know!
I actually quite enjoy cooking, but have found myself doing
A LOT more of it over the past few months. The best part is I get to cook
whatever I feel like eating and enjoy the meal. Don’t get me wrong, Miranda can cook, she’s actually not a
bad cook when she puts her mind to it, it’s just that she prefers not to. And when
she does cook, she has this tendency to throw away the recipe book and make
shit up on the run, like Nigella on crack. The result is sometimes awesome,
but sometimes ends in a bowl of tastelessness that the kids won’t touch, or Tess, and it then lives on for another week in the dog bowl outside. Needless to say, Miranda
would happily live off of a diet of KFC, Samboy BBQ chips and Coke with an occasional
salad thrown in if I would let her.
I saw our water bill the other day (she usually hides it) and found out we are
consuming twice the average water usage in Harvey. The girl just
loves her baths and would happily spend half her life in the tub facebooking,
instagramming, texting, taking selfies, putting filters over said selfies…the
list goes on. Pretty much anything that you could possibly think of doing in
the bath, Miranda has probably had a crack at. Early on in our relationship
I stumbled across Miranda combining two of her favourite things after a big night
out partying. I walked in the bathroom at the Burswood to find her laid back, sleeping, with an empty packet of Samboy BBQ chips floating on the water. She was covered in half
eaten chips, and was gutted that they had been wasted when she nodded off. She sure did rock that after party.
I’ve never known somebody that can love their iPhone so much
and yet hate to talk to people on it with about the same amount of passion. Alas
Miranda seems to have been swept up with the new generation of tech savy
hipsters who prefer to communicate via any electronic means except voice. KRIIIISSS!
was once the all too common catch cry in our house whenever Miranda wanted or
needed something. Now that smart phones rule the world, this catch cry has been
replaced with the familiar tri-tone of an incoming text message requesting a
cup of tea, a pair of socks cos my feet are cold, or some more toilet paper cos
I’ve run out…..AGAIN. Yes Miranda’s iPhone barely leaves her side (how else are
you going to capture that perfect selfie), whereas I like to make sure I leave
mine out of earshot or on silent for obvious reasons. As expected, KRIIIISSS!
is making a resurgence.
Anyway, in three more days Miranda’s exam will be over and
hopefully life will start getting back to normal around here. I’m hoping I’ll
able to back off on my house work commitments, but you’ll probably see an
influx of Miranda posts and selfies on your Facebook feed before that happens. Fingers
crossed once she’s had her fix, Nigella will be back in the kitchen working her
magic and posting pictures of her culinary brilliance….lucky you can’t taste food
on facebook!]
I'll leave you with a picture of the 'real' Miranda - studying hard.
