So I’ll try not to make this one too emotional. But can I
start by saying a huge thank you to all those that got in touch after my first
post about Lachy. It’s hard to tell the effect that your own thoughts and
feelings will have on others but I was so overwhelmed with all the positives
that came out of sharing ‘that’ blog.
A few weeks after ‘that’ blog Lachy and I went for our next paediatrician
appointment and it was recommended (once again) that we 'wait and see' as things had been improving. My heart literally hit the
floor, but I decided to back myself and share my opinion which went something
like this:
Yes – things are going well – he is understanding more, happier
at school and at home, more calm etc etc. But the only reason he is doing
better (in my opinion) is because he is being treated as if he is autistic now.
We’ve done what we can at home, started accessing support at school, support through
our OT and Physio and horse riding and counsellor etc. And all of our assumptions
and allowances and extra work are finally starting to pay off. If we stop all that – we’d be
right back to square one wondering how to help and he’d no doubt regress to his
behaviour of the past. Obviously we personally won't stop doing what
we are doing, but I’m not sure how long we’ll continue to get support based on
our assumptions and some awesome professionals who stepped in when we needed it
most. At some point we will need something in black and white! And for his
sake, the sooner the better.
Having said that it was agreed that we could send Lachy
for an autism assessment now rather than ‘waiting and seeing’. This year has had some real highs, and the
relief on this day was right up there with the best of them. Rather than wait a
few years for a public assessment we decided to have him assessed privately to
speed things up. The appointment was booked and the nerves soon set in.
The 26th September finally rolled around and
turned out to be one of THE most amazing days of my life. I’m so glad Kris
decided to come along to share it. We met with the Clinical Psychologist and Speech Therapist and
Lachy was in THE best mood, which was worrying me. I was imagining he would
need to show all the ‘bad’ sides and lack of coping in order to get a diagnosis
but he was out and about with no siblings and Mum AND Dad to answer all his
questions and was in his element. He even said hello and smiled at the
assessors when we went in which I thought was terrible! I had purposely not 'prepped' him for this appointment having run into trouble in the past because of all the effort I put in to get him to cope with an appointment making it seem like he had no issues at all!
The assessment got underway and we started answering a
million questions while Lach spent time with the speech therapist. Most questions
were easy – some not so. Does he spin? Kris – Yes… Me – No. I wasn’t sure which
answer she recorded but we went to Garden City after his appointment and I
watched him spin 5 times in the space of about half an hour! I think I must
have been so used to it that I didn’t even notice it anymore? We moved on to
the speech therapist and Lach spent some time with the psychologist. The speech
assessor was amazing – we answered all her questions and then she spent some
time telling us Lachy’s responses to her session. She was describing him like
no one I’ve ever known before and it was amazing listening to someone who
understood him so well! To say we were blown away was an understatement.
Next the psychologist joined us and filled us in on her
session with Lach and once again we were absolutely blown away. All the little details
she noticed and was able to tell us about him were amazing. All the little things we struggle to put into words they were able to so precisely define and we sat in absolute awe. We were in a room with two professionals who were retelling all the ‘quirky’ things Lach had
done with them and it sounded to us as though they too thought he was ‘different’.
At the end of the session they indicated
that they had seen many indicators of autism and that that would be the direction their report would take.
Talk about being on a high – here we were spending a day out
just with Lachy, in the best mood ever, no meltdowns, no anxiety and yet these
two incredible women were telling us our son was autistic. I wish we could have
bottled that feeling. It is so so hard to describe after all the years of being
fobbed off and dodged and being told a flat out “No – he can make eye contact
so he’s not autistic”. We went to Garden City and let him ride the escalators
and eat his favourite KFC for lunch and it was honestly one of THE best days of
my life. I have NEVER felt prouder of Lachy for just ‘being him’. I was beaming from ear to ear for days.
We waited several weeks to get the official report. It arrived
last Thursday, perfectly timed the day after my exam although I can honestly
say I wasn’t very focused on much other than the report and I’m guessing the
exam results will reflect that. So we
made a cuppa (OK Kris did) and then jumped back in bed at 5am that morning to
read the report together.
There it was in black and white :
Lachlan meets sufficient criteria
for a diagnosis of Autism.
We read through the 18 pages of assessment notes and laughed
and cried. I made a few phone calls and then had to focus on getting the kids
off to school. While it was obvious from the first reading that he hadn’t just
scraped over the line, it wasn’t until I sat down later that morning and read
it all over again that it hit me…he shat it in!! Go Lachy Dooch!! It may seem
odd that I’m proud of him but if it means more guaranteed levels of support and
more understanding for his future then I’m all for the ‘label’.
In short, of the 12 identifying criteria in the current assessment
form, 6 criteria must be met for a diagnosis of autism. Lachy met 9/12
criteria, partially met a further 2/12 and the remaining 1 he did not meet.
So where to from here…
I’m waiting to hear from the Disabilty Services Commission
regarding any support/services he may be entitled to. His school has been able
to submit a request for assistance through to Year 8. I’m also hoping to join a
support group and try and meet up with other families and children in similar
situations too. Other than that – life goes on…
The few times I’ve been in a situation where I’ve had to say
‘it’ out loud I’ve choked a bit. So I think there is still a bit more emotion
to come in terms of acceptance of it all. But overall, it’s mainly just relief
that we got there in the end. And like anything learned the hard way, I hope we’re
all the better for it in the future.
